From a young age it was obvious that I was wired with a heart for art. I would say that art, as well as writing, are my chosen ways of self-expression. I grew up in Auckland and I am the youngest in a family of five children. When I was 18 I came to have a faith in Jesus Christ, of which I have covered in ‘My Early Faith Journey’. By the natural development of things, a lot of my art started to express my faith from then on.
I gained a diploma in Graphic Art and Design from Auckland’s Whitcliffe Art School in 1989. Art school was such a great experience and I learned a broad spectrum of art application, theory and history. At the end of the years course, the field of art I chose to specialise in was illustration, especially children’s story books.
After art school my working life progressed from work at companies that did screen-printing, greeting cards and graphic presentation. Just before the birth of my first daughter I was doing assorted graphic design work and general administration duties at our local church. I had a break from paid work while our young children were pre-schoolers then chose work that suited the needs of our young family. I did teacher aiding for many years before being a school office administrator. I carried on with administration work when we moved to Taranaki which is where we currently call home.
Over the years I have continued to produce art. It has often been my way of recording what God has taught me either by the Bible (the main inspiration) or through personal life experiences. I also just love putting a pencil to paper and sketching what I see. I have taken part and sold work in local art competitions and exhibitions in both Auckland and Taranaki. I have taught drawing classes and also a creative expressions workshop. My art style is often symbolic and graphic with a message or teaching woven through it. The finished artworks are the final result of much pondering, reading and study, therefore, I usually have an explanation to go with my paintings as I believe it gives clarity.
Thank you for taking time to view my website. I hope it blesses and ministers to you.
Carmen
My Early Faith Journey
Even as a young person I knew that there must be more to us than just flesh and blood. I was interested in hearing stories about things that happen in the world that cannot be explained, things that could only be described as the supernatural, and that there was a heaven and a hell. From a young age I also believed that there was a higher power that our limited intellect couldn’t comprehend. Just looking at nature showed me that there is a creator – a great designer.
Art was always my ‘happy place’. When I was about 16 in form 6 at school, our art class was given the project of making our own junk sculpture. Mine developed into an art work that represented good and evil. Looking back now in retrospect I see this as a catalyst in my search to know more of things spiritually – as well as my desired method of recording what I learn. In the two years that followed I was not unlike others my own age – not very wise in some of the choices I was making. I did whatever the crowd I mixed with was doing. So, I was like a boat without a rudder or compass – being tossed about and directed by whatever were the waves and currents around me, and I went wherever they took me.
However, during this time I also met some people who were a bit ‘different’. One was a girl I worked with at my first job. She had got up to the same sort of things I had, but the direction and purpose of her life had changed when she became ‘born again’ – a term I hadn’t heard before. I was interested in what she had to say and I soaked it up. I went with her to her church once, and heard a young guy tell his own story. He said that he had thought that he would go to heaven if he died because he wasn’t a murderer and he hadn’t committed a big crime. However, he had found out that it took only a ‘little sin’ to become a sinner – one lie – and that he had been destined for hell if he died. He then shared that he had repented and was ‘born again’ and had been ‘saved’ and was going to heaven. As that church was very much into water baptism, I had thought that “one day I would go to a church, get baptised and be saved so I won’t go to hell.” This seemed like a logical and easy thing to organise. Just a little dunking to set me up for eternity, sorted.
By the time I was 18 I asked some friends (who were Christians) if I could come with them to church. While I was there, I heard that a water baptism was to take place the following week at the pastor’s house. I told my friends that I would like to be baptised. They were concerned and explained to me that a baptism was an outward show of the serious commitment to follow God with your whole heart for life. They gave me some information to read and it was suggested that I come to the baptism to see for myself what happens. In the week that followed, I read and re-read the brochure I was given about baptism and what it meant to be born again. My learning style is slow – I need to mull things over and over in my mind and in quiet, so I took the brochure with me to read and think over on some long walks.
The day of the baptism arrived at the Pastor’s house in Auckland and the date was Saturday 13th February 1988. There was a small number of people who were there to get baptised and a lot of their friends and family to support and witness it. I had come to be an observer, so by the time it was all starting I found a spot at the back. The first lady went into the pool and was questioned about her faith, questions like: did she believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, did she believe that he died on a cross and rose again on the third day, and did she confirm that she had confessed that she was a sinner and accepted the saving gift that Jesus provided when he died on a cross (or some similar words like that). She said yes to all these questions before she was leaned back fully into the pool and then lifted back out. As she came out of the water she started to cry, and those watching spoke and prayed blessings over her. This really moved me and it was like a light bulb moment when everything started to make sense. I understood the information I had read and mulled over, as well as other things I had heard leading up to this moment.
Other baptisms were done but I have no memory of them as I was coming to terms with my own separation from God, and feeling the full shame of my sin – the sin that had been re-playing like a DVD in my memory (or more like a VHS as it was the late 1980’s). It was as if there was no one else around and it was only me and God’s presence. I spoke to God (under my breath – barely a whisper but loud in my head) and I told him that I was so sorry and that I had made a mess of my life. I said to God that I didn’t want him to come into my messy life but that I wanted to go into his life, and I asked for his forgiveness. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was all I needed to do to become ‘a child of God’ and that I was now ‘born again’.
The baptisms finished and the pastor asked if anyone wanted to be baptised. What I thought was my own conscience but I now realise was the Holy Spirit, said that I should get baptised. No, I’m not schizophrenic but the conversation inside my head / spirit went something like this: Me: ‘I can’t get baptised, this is all too quick.’ The Holy Spirit: ‘This is your moment.’ Then a lady spoke up and said “I feel that God has told me that there are two people here who would like to be baptised today.” The Holy Spirit: ‘You are one of them’. Me: “I’ll only put my hand up if someone else does.” A lady called out that she wanted to be baptised. By this time my defences were broken down. I put my hand up, stood up and said that I would also like to be baptised. I will not lie – I wasn’t all calm and collected but a crying sobbing sight (I couldn’t help it). I was led away to get changed into some clothes that were provided and then led back to the pool. I was asked the same questions as before, and then I was baptised. I was on a natural high for a couple of weeks after that day – like floating on a cloud, and feeling so much loved, clean and forgiven.
The day of my baptism has been many years now and recalling this day can still bring me to tears as it was my first experience as a believer and it was such a pivotal moment in my life. After the weekend of the baptism, I was back at work at a screen printer’s factory. The young guys that I worked with didn’t know what to make of me – I had previously been going to their parties and now I was gushing with my story and telling them that I was ‘born again’. Those who took the same bus as me would see me engrossed in my bible when going to and from work. I had truly gone quite ‘weird’. The bible has become very precious to me and has been my daily ‘go to’. There are so many verses that I have underlined and memorised which has moulded my life. If this is weird, then I am ok to be called weird (well I am a bit more resilient now to be called that – maybe not at the time).
I decided to include this very personal story in this website, because my faith in Jesus Christ is very much the subject of the majority of my art work. Now you also know how I came to have the faith I treasure.
Please feel free to contact me if my testimony has raised any questions that you would like to talk about.
Thank you for reading
Carmen